Dock Dynasty
by JerPandaBear
Summary: A story set in the medieval era about a panda going through life in a strange new land. Characters include personnel from the NLSS and JSmith's streams


Dong Dynasty: A Tale of Fantasy, Love, Adventure and Dongers

_ In 1069 on June 9th the Queen of Ireland, Queen Lillian the 2nd passed away from a serious case of tuberculosis (and multiple STD's) leaving the throne to her 6 sons, Augustine, Patrick, Harrison, Dexter, James, and Ryan. Augustine, the oldest of the group, claimed the Southern lands as his own and created the Duchies of Munster and Leinster. Patrick, the second son of Queen Lillian, used his military prowess to unite the Western lands and create the Duchy of Connacht. Harrison and Dexter, commonly known from their youth as the "Twins sent by Satan", used plots and diplomatic power to take the Eastern and Northern lands for themselves with the exception of a small county in the Northern lands. James became a cleric and travelled to Rome where he became one of the most influential Cardinals in the Church. Ryan, known as the Bald, himself a bastard of Sir William "the Ugly" Dong and the youngest of his illegitimate siblings had to resort to barbarians and the SCUM of Ireland to claim the country in the Northern lands which his brothers had left alone. This is the story of that sad, sad, sad, sad, sad, bald, sad little man soon to be known as King Ryan Dong "the Lion of the North"._

Episode 1: Year 1069, October 15th

Hello let me introduce myself I am Jerry, the animal companion of Lady Katherine "the Lovely" Momo. _What animal you say? Well I am the most majestic of animals, a proud and beautiful creature fit for legends for I am... a panda. Yes a panda. You don't believe me? Well I have to get on with the story so just deal with it._ We have travelled here from the Byzantine Empire for the count of our realm has conducted a strategic wedding between my master and Lord Ryan Dong. _*cough* That is a lie, the dickhole just wanted to get rid of his youngest daughter before she fucked up his succession *cough*_. Anyway we have been here for a fortnight and Castle Dong is ablaze with activity in preparation for the wedding. While I wander around, enticing strangers with my beautiful mane, I see many a familiar character whom I have come to know over this past fortnight. In the morn I eavesdrop on Knight Robert, whom patrols the grounds on an alpaca of all creatures, as he tells his fellow knights of his tumble he had this past night in the brothel with a beautiful red head.

"She was as soft as a virgin and her moans could have been heard around the block. She quivered with every moment of my hips. We climaxed at the same time and continued till we could hear the cock's song. My cock's song many, many times." Sir Rob boasted as if this myth was the reality. In truth I have spied on his red headed beauty and himself as they... _What? Why would I watch them? I'm a panda for Christ sake I just wanted to know if his stories were true. What's a Pedobear? It doesn't matter just listen to the story._ In truth I have spied on Sir Rob and his unknown beauty in the brothel outside the castle and his tales, to my amusement, were fake. In truth he paid her for her "service" and she treated him like an unlaid child, with a face of fake amusement and inconstant moans, throwing him aside as soon as their transaction had completed. But as a panda I cannot talk verbally to humans and therefore I cannot reveal the truth to his comrades. And although his lies provide me with amusement I cannot stand them for longer than an hour or so and depart to the kitchen.

When I arrive at the kitchen I walk over to my new friend, because she feeds me all the good scraps of meat and vegetables, the chef Lady Doxy "the Slender" Kunis. Because of my appearance and her ignorance of my superior knowledge she... _WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT INTERRUPTING? Oh you have a question then shoot. Why am I so narcissistic? I have no idea what you are talking about I am just telling the truth. _Anyway Lady Doxy has been the only chef to feed me in kitchen since day two and although the first day she tried to kill and skin me because she thought I was an ingredient, she has become my main source of luxury food because all the other chefs are fat old men who keep the leftovers for themselves. But besides her feeding me I take care of her only child during parts of the day for she is too poor to hire a nanny, the reason for that is that all women of the castle get paid two silver dongers while men get paid a whole five silver dongers for their service.

After I get fed and am curled up in the corner for a bit of rest one on the idiot butlers drops a plate of burning hot soup on my _*cough* BEAUTIFUL *cough* _mane. When I look up it is the squire Uno "the Player" Nred-Salm, a foreigner like myself, who tends to my masters room and cleans up my "smelly discretions". While my skin and fur become drenched in potato soup I roar in pain and anger and slash out at Uno but he grabs my paw and flips me over his shoulder for Uno is one of the strongest men in the castle. He is the only man in the castle to fight me head on and survive and for that he is in charge of most of my daily life.

In the moment Doxy yells infuriated "What are you doing to that poor creature Uno! Do you want to go on the chopping block?"

Uno keeps me pinned to the floor as he replies with a cold glance "I need to keep this beast in line and he will be fine" He slowly gets off me and I jump back on all fours and growl, my fangs beared. "I will take him to the doctor anyway, I always do."

"You better Uno and I will report your indiscretions to Lady Kate, I always do." Doxy spat back a fire in her eyes. She sits down and I realize she had a knife at the ready. "Now get that MAJESTIC beast to the infirmary." _OHM MY GOD STOP INTURRUPTING ME! What? You do not think that she said I was MAJESTIC? Well I might have lied a little. Who cares just let me tell my story. _Uno grunted as he turned to face me and he grabbed the skin on my neck as he led, I mean dragged, me to the doctor.

An hour later after walking all across the castle grounds to the little doctor's hut up upon an hill outside the castle we reached the only doctor who would treat me. Before Uno even knocked on the door it flung wide open and the doctor rushed past Uno and came to my side. "What happened to you? Why is your skin so filthy? Get inside I'll get you back to your MAJESTIC state." _Shut up just let me have my fantasies. _As we walked inside we saw all the vials and plants around the hut. And I looked back to the doctor, the first human I met in Ireland. Her name is Pixel Murphy and one of the reasons that I now live in Castle Dong but that is a story for a different time. After Doctor Pixel cleaned me off and clothed my wounds I almost went back to the castle as Uno stayed behind, a routine I am well used to.

One time I had stayed behind to see what activities they would partake in and I was disgustingly surprised. You see Pixel is what people would call a dominatrix which got her banned from the castle after almost killing a servant boy while fulfilling her sexual desires. But today I decided to stay behind to study her methods, even if they disgusted me. She took off her doctor's robe and revealed a black leather bikini with long black boots. "Uno" she sang dauntingly "How about you take off those clothes of yours?" Uno complied with her wishes only to be quickly tied up afterwards by Pixel as well as having a red fabric mask put on his face. I was beginning to feel sorry for Uno until I saw his little (I say that because it is actually really fucking big) "dingleberry" sprout up in excitement. While I was confused I still only felt pity for the strong man that was being dominated in front of me. As Pixel finished she pulled out two items a long shiny object which seemed to wiggle and an item I knew all too well; a whip. I saw a smile spread across her which contained only pure bliss as she whispered something into Uno's ear. Now as a human you may not have had the ability to hear what she had whispered but since I am such a majestic and great creature I heard every bone chilling drop. "It's time for your prescription." Now what happened afterwards is to traumatic for me to recount in detail, but I will. Uno's eyes lit up as she said these words to him and knelt over. Pixel with no hesitation stuck the shiny black item up Uno's "little boys hole" and began to whip his back as he screamed in a mixture of pleasure and pain. I could not stay after seeing ten seconds of this embarrassing sexplay and so I turned my back on the "nice" doctor and my butler and walked back to the castle with terror fresh in my mind. _What are you whispering under your breath?! What is a Pedobear?_

Anyway as I returned to the castle I stopped at the tavern "The Raised Donger's", and not to drink mind you for I have a very low tolerance for alcohol, but to be entertained. On the first day the drunkards who come to this bar were completely afraid and seemed disgusted by me but as soon as they realized I was a gentle and MAJESTIC creature the bar inhabitants warmed up to me. As I entered the bar I recognized a few faces although I had not really grown to know them at the time. I saw Joshua Smith, the blacksmith, known worlds away for his steel although in Castle Dong he is known as "the Scum" for reasons unbeknownst to me. There is also a rumor going around that there is a secret society which meets in the castle dungeons at night, by gathering intel I have found that to enter the secret area you must first go UP the stairway of halted death and then DOWN the spike slide. After navigating through those areas you must go ALL AROUND the pillar of the original donger and if you perform a sequence of steps on pressure tiles the statue will move and you will be allowed sanctuary in JSmith Town, only after joining the scum society. There was Knight Nick Lee, the battle commander of Ryan the Bald's army, known for his charming smile, and being one of the biggest drunkards in the realm. And surprisingly Prince Ohm the son of Ryan the Bald, commonly known as "the Home Wrecker, for the parties and banquets and orgies he holds always leave some room in the castle wrecked but was well respected for his diplomacy and martial ability as well as being MLT, a Major League Tournament-Combatant. But I always come here to look at the only woman in the realm who has caught my attention Lady Spyro "the Sheepish" Morris, the barmaid and is well known for keeping her virginity despite being in her prime age and working in a tavern. She has the kindest smile and such great figure and... _Wait does Pedobear combine pedophile and bear? STOP SAYING IT THEN IF THATS WHAT IT MEANS. _Anyway her shy nature makes me all the more attracted and I usually follow her around the tavern, which isn't creepy because I am like a pet, well I am a pet but not her pet, but... whatever just know she doesn't think it is creepy. After lingering in the tavern for a bit I leave home, not before seeing "the Scum" Josh going home with three broads under each arm... scumlord.

When I return to my room I take a nap and lay in wait for my master to return. As the door creaks open I rush up and jump on an unsuspecting Katherine "Whoa boy calm down let me settle down." As she gets undressed and changes into her bed gown she beckons me over, looks at me with loving eyes and says "You would not believe what sort of things I have encountered today around this splendid castle and my fiancée is so handsome and funny. I really like it here. I am sorry I cannot bring you along with me though but there are so many stories I have to tell you." Her eyes sparkling she recanted tales of nice maids who gossip about monsters lurking about, a jewel thief who turned himself in, a soup that was too hot, and really intimate details of sex with her newly betrothed. All the while I lay there listening to her stories and once she was done she blew out the candle, gave me a kiss on the head and went to sleep. I stayed up a little longer but as I nodded off I swear I could hear the moans of love from all over the castle and Rob's little boy moan.

_ What do you mean "Is that it?" Of course it isn't. It is just that episode one is over. What do you mean it's a chapter if it's a story. Well I call it an episode so SUCK IT and maybe I will tell you another story later on. What? What do you mean it was terrible that was a great story! Well you know what I will... What's that? I AM NOT A PEDOBEAR!_

Written by: Jeremiah (JerPandaBear)

Edited by: Jeremiah (JerPandaBear)

Revised by: Jeremiah (JerPandaBear)

Narrarated by: PedoPanda


End file.
